Friday, March 30, 2012

March 28th, 4 weeks old, and an unexpected twist

You may be wondering why I am posting a hospital picture in our 4 week old post. It is not for lack of 4 week old photographs. It is actually because on Seamus's 4 week "birthday" he was admitted to the pediatrics floor at Roanoke Memorial Hospital. It was completely unexpected by me, I was shocked honestly. Seamus had been coughing and sneezing and then his breathing started sounding labored and mucus ridden. I was worried, he was fussy, no one was happy. So I brought him to see Dr. Craft. I brought him in thinking Dr. Craft was going to tell me I had nothing to worry about, that Seamus was doing great...
When we got to Dr. Craft's office Seamus had a fever of 101.5, they took it a few more times and by the time we left it was 100.5. Dr. Craft was concerned when examining Seamus. He wasn't his usual talkative self. He left the room came back and told me not to get too worried but that he thought it would be best if we spent the night in the hospital. I freaked out. Tears started streaming down my face immediately. All I could think of was that this was my miracle baby, nothing bad is allowed to happen to him. Dr. Craft said he was taking the precautionary road because there is no need for Seamus to be that 1%. I agreed with him wholeheartedly. I wasn't upset that we had to stay at the hospital because I knew I would be allowed to stay with him, I was upset that something could be very wrong, I was upset that I didn't protect him enough.
Seamus and I went home, packed our bags for a luxurious stay at RMH and then raced to the hospital. We got our room, and I sort of chuckled because our room assignment was the very first room we had on the pediatric floor when Cyrus was admitted for GBS at birth. I was reminded of how God's plan for Cyrus was very different than my plan, but a lot of good came out of His plan. I started to feel comforted in remembering that experience and remembering how God took care of my child.
The doctors examined Seamus, they took blood, urine and spinal fluid. After a few hours the doctors came back to update me on our littlest man. So far so good. Everything looked great, and now we just had to wait on his cultures to see if they grew any bacteria.
I slept two hours the first night in the hospital. Seamus slept a ton, and wouldn't wake long enough to eat well. He lost 6 ounces of body weight from Wednesday to Thursday night. He slept almost all day on Thursday and only had to wake periods for about 1.5 hours each time. Thankfully he was awake more last night/this morning and ate really well. Today he weighed in at 9lbs 9 ounces only 1 ounce off from his weight check earlier this week.
The doctors continue to monitor Seamus, but they assure me that he is doing great, that nothing has grown in his cultures and that we will be discharged sometime today. I'm thankful for the doctors and nurses at RMH who have taken such great care of my sweet little boy.
I'll do a traditional 1 month old post after we have his one month check up next week!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Seamus is way better than a pot of gold

Ryan was kind enough to point out that not everyone knows what I am talking about when I refer to Seamus as my "Rainbow Baby". I refer to him as my rainbow, or pot of gold, or miracle baby often. Just about anytime someone asks about him, or if they make a comment about me not getting sleep b/c of him etc. I gently point out that he is worth all the sleepless nights, and all the pain of pregnancy because he is my Rainbow baby, or my little miracle.
I think most people who read this blog know that Ryan and I had a long journey in completing our family. We started trying for our second child in June of 2010. We became pregnant quickly, first attempt actually, only to miscarry that child at 7 weeks. We followed doctors orders and waited to try again. When we were given the green light we tried and got pregnant again on the first attempt. I was excited and scared, I didn't have peace about the pregnancy. We lost a second child in December 2010 at 8 weeks and 6 days.
After two losses Dr. Keeley did the recurrent pregnancy loss panel on me. I turned out to be Compound Heterozygous for A&C in the MTHFR gene. This isn't a good thing and can be linked to miscarriage, and a plethora of other birth defects etc. An RE actually said we were lucky to have Cyrus, that both my boys were in fact miracles. We were given a protocol of medicines to follow that would hopefully allow me to carry to term. We waited 5 months...we did not conceive the first month or the second month. I started questioning if God had a second child on earth planned for us. I petitioned God for another son. I learned that I was pregnant the last week of June 2011. I had a peace and lots and lots of ultrasounds and OB appointments to help keep the peace!

I found this definition of Rainbow Babies online and it is exactly what I would have written...
"Rainbow Babies" are the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and the clouds. Storm clouds may still loom over but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and much needed hope. 
I would add that the Rainbow is a symbol from God reminding us of His promises. God may allow storms in our life, but those storms are usually allowed so that we can see the goodness and greatness of our Lord and obviously to transform us. I can not help but look at Seamus and see all of God's promises in him. He is a constant reminder of God's goodness, he reminds me that God's plan is always better than our own, and that His plan has purpose. My faith has been tested so much in the past two years, I learned so much about myself as a mother, a wife, and a lover of Jesus. Looking back I can say I fell short of my expectations in every area. But by God's grace I have been sanctified, purified, renewed on a daily basis. I am so thankful for Seamus. I am so thankful for a constant reminder of my struggles, and the valuable lessons I learned. 
Seamus Alistair Hurley, my rainbow miracle baby I love you!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Seamus Alistair Hurley

Seamus Alistair Hurley
Born February 28th @ 1:24 pm
Weight: 7lb 15.5 ounces
Length: 20 inches
Head: 14 inches
It has been three weeks and four days since Seamus made his way into the world. And I'm only just now getting around to blogging about it! I feel a little guilty for not keeping up with the blog, but I honestly have been way too tired to write anything coherent. I spent the first two weeks recovering from the c-section. It was supposed to be an easier recovery than the first, but once I was open Dr. Keeley realized that I had a lot of scar tissue which made the surgery take longer (mainly in closing me up and healing). I was in a lot of pain after surgery but managed it well with Lortab and Ibuprofen. Okay enough about me and back to Seamus's big day.
On Tuesday, February 28th we woke up bright and early. I showered and brought my hospital bag downstairs for Ryan to put in the car. We got Cyrus up and ready for school. On the way to pre-school I kept thinking about how these were my last moments with an only child. It is a very odd emotion. On one hand you are so excited to meet your new child, but you are also mourning the fact that things will never be the same for your first. Keeping that in mind, Ryan and I made sure to do lots of family activities leading up to the birth of Seamus. We did something fun for Cyrus almost every day!
We dropped Cyrus off at school, I promptly started crying as we walked him in. My friend Kristin assured me that my feelings were normal and that Cyrus would be okay (thanks KB). Then Ryan and I were off to the hospital.
We checked in...
This is me waiting to be checked in, and my last belly shot 39 weeks exactly
 After checking in we went up to the second floor to Labor & Delivery. I got hooked up to the monitors, and the nurses took my blood and prepped me for surgery. I was feeling a little "uncomfortable" I told the nurse that I was having some back pain that felt similar to when I had "back" labor with Cyrus. She looked at the monitors and said "well it looks like you are in early labor". Go figure at that point my surgery got bumped...a little while later another nurse came in and said "wow that is a great labor pattern" I asked how far apart my contractions were. They were 2-3 minutes apart. Dr. Keeley showed up, after delivering a baby, and made note that I was in labor and asked if we were changing our plan. The answer was no, we were sticking with the original plan, I just wanted Seamus here safe and sound.
At 12:45 I was brought to the operating room. All of the nurses were so great and reassuring, I was really nervous. They gave me my spinal, which wasn't as bad as I imagined and then it was Game On! The anesthesiologist, Jessica Scarffe, was also great and her assistant calmed me a lot, however I still ended up puking as soon as Ryan was by my side. I guess my blood pressure dropped too much which is why I got ill. As I was vomiting I realized that I never wanted to go through this again (as a family we had decided we were done after Seamus, but you know I don't make decisions well). I'm so done!
At 1:24 Seamus Alistair Hurley was born!
First photo with Dr. Keeley

First time Daddy held Seamus

First time mommy laid eyes on her little miracle

First family photo

Second family photo

Soon after the photo's were taken, Seamus and Ryan went down to the nursery so that Seamus could get assessed. His blood sugar was low and I was still in surgery so Staci, one of Seamus's nurses, had to give him an ounce of a formula. Staci saw a look on Ryan's face when she said "formula" and asked "Is mom going to have a problem with this?" Ryan's answer was "Yeah she'll be upset, but she would want us to do what ever he needs". Ryan was right I was disappointed, but I was in surgery there wasn't much I could do to help my baby. Staci was right in giving him formula. I was so thankful that the nurses all understood what I wanted, but also gently reminded us that the goal was to do what was best for Seamus at all times.
Once I was out of surgery I went to my recovery room. Ryan and Seamus should have been allowed to be with me at this time, however that didn't happen. Seamus was "grunting" which to me would have sounded like normal newborn noises, but to the nurses it was a sign of oxygen issues. Seamus's oxygen saturation levels were at 97% and were not steady. This meant that I didn't get to hold my baby until 3:45 (after the pediatricians looked him over). Even then I only got him for about 45 minutes. I was devastated. I had been waiting to hold this little boy in my arms for so long (the journey had been long, we had been trying for our second child since June 2010) and now I was told something was wrong and I couldn't keep him in my room, and I couldn't nurse him or hold him. We had a few days of waiting to see what the plan was with Seamus. I started pumping so that the nursery nurses could give him a bottle. When I could get up and out of bed I was allowed in the nursery to nurse Seamus. Basically what happened was a common occurrence in c-section babies. He had extra fluid in his lungs, which meant he couldn't get enough oxygen in his lungs to keep his saturation levels at 100%.  It took Seamus three days to clear his lungs and keep his oxygen levels at 100%. Once they were at 100% he was allowed to stay in my room with me, and by Friday we were allowed to go home (thank you to everyone who prayed for Seamus and that we would be allowed to leave the hospital as a family).