Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving especially when we don't have to travel anywhere to enjoy it.  This year, as promised, the Hurley's stayed home.  Our friend Brian, who just moved to Ohio in August, came to spend the weekend with us.  Thanksgiving morning was pretty relaxing, I snuggled with Cyrus on the couch b/c he woke up before 6 am. Then we took a nap, then I got up and prepped the turkey with Ryan. 
After Cyrus woke up from his nap, he helped me in the kitchen as we watched the Patriots. I have pictures but they are stuck on my camera b/c I can't find my charger and the battery died.  Cyrus and I made Spinach Gnocch-Wee.  It is a new recipe I found that I thought might intrigue Cyrus enough to actually eat it.  We made the spinach gnocch-wee and tomorrow through them in the freezer.  We will take a few out of the freezer tomorrow for lunch and cook them up.  We'll see how they turn out, and if Cyrus eats it I'll link out to the recipe.
We finally ate dinner around 4:00, sort of late for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but it actually worked out really well.  Cyrus was not interested in dinner, so he didn't really eat. The turkey was delicious and moist, and the stuffing and garlic mashed potatoes were so yummy, oh and the gravy was superb.  Brian made an apple pie, which was delicious, and by far one of my favorite pie's ever! Sorry Mom.
The afternoon was spent watching a lot of football.  Cyrus and I both went to bed early, but I ended up reading in bed for along time.
Overall it was a great Turkey Day!

Zoo Disappointment

Monday was a beautiful day, and since last week we were cooped inside all week with the flu Ryan and I decided to make the best of the nice weather and take Cyrus to the Mill Mountain Zoo.  Cyrus was very excited and said zoo several times (which reminds me that I need to write Cyrus's 19 month update - but I might just combine it with the 20 month update).
So we drove to the zoo, and walked up to the top of the mountain to the zoo entrance...
C'mon Mama, let's go in

Why aren't they letting us in
Uhm yeah the zoo was closed! The zoo is never closed, accept for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Apparently to save budget this winter they have decided to only be open Thursday-Sunday.  Cyrus was very disappointed, and I felt horrible.
After a little bit of coaxing we finally convinced Cyrus to leave the zoo.
He was still sad, but playing in the leaves cheered him up
After walking through the nature path we played on the big slide for a little bit, and then we went into the Discovery Center.  Cyrus has a great time exploring in the Discovery Center.  I'm glad we were able to salvaged our trip to the zoo and still have a good time.  Ryan and I probably enjoyed the day more than Cyrus.  It was so much fun watching Cyrus explore and listen to him tell us about all the things he was discovering. We love our little chatterbox.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

bubbles

Cyrus discovered tinker bell bubble bath under his sink

He had to have it

He was very happy that Mama gave in to his plea of "bubbles"

Very pleased with himself and his bubbles


Friday, November 19, 2010

Oh What a Week

This week was a first for Ryan, Cyrus and I, and it was not a first that we have been looking forward to.  Monday night Cyrus woke up at 9:30 pm covered in vomit. No seriously he must have thrown up in his sleep and rolled in the stuff.  It was absolutely vile.  I could barely get him undressed and in the shower fast enough to keep myself from vomiting.  The poor kid was terrified. I guess I would be too if I had never really blown chunks before. I mean he threw up one other time, but it was only liquid. This time around it was everything he ate for dinner and then some.
Sorry if that was TMI for y'all.  After Cyrus and I got all cleaned up, and daddy changed the bedding and put all of Cyrus crib mates in the wash the little man and I cuddled on the couch until 1:15 am.  He continued to vomit three more times, every time his aim was not for the bucket but for me. He got very upset right before vomiting. He shook his head no, and my heart broke for him, b/c I honestly no how that feeling is....you know you are about to be violently ill, so ill your stomach is going to hurt, but you can't do anything to stop it.  I just tried to comfort him as much as possible and tell him it was perfectly okay to vomit all over me and the rug and what ever else he ended up hitting. Luckily by this point he didn't have any chunky vomit left.
Cyrus finally went to bed at 1:30 but woke up at 5:30 with daddy. I got to sleep until 7:30 and Cyrus slept until about 9:30.  On Tuesday he only vomited two times.  By Wednesday he was feeling mostly better, but still super clingy, however Mama was feeling a lot worse, and was down and out. The good news is that I am pretty sure that everyone is our home has now had the flu! My flu seemed to be a little bit worse than Cyrus's or I just don't recover as quickly. I'm still feeling a little yucky and haven't gotten my appetite back. Actually the thought of food is sort of nauseating, accept vegetables which is odd for me.  Popsicles have been very good too! I am thinking that by tomorrow I should be back to my normal eating habits, I hope.
Oh and the other good thing is that all the vomiting really motivated Ryan to break out the carpet cleaner and clean the family room carpet - Thank you so much for taking care of that for me Ryan - you are the man!

Stinky Feet

One night I smelled Cyrus's feet, and they were soooooo stinky. So I told him "you have stinky feet".  Cyrus thought this was amusing.  He kept putting his feet up to my nose.  Apparently he either liked the sound I made while sniffing his feet, or he liked the feel of me sniffing his feet.  So now he often does this...

He loves to stick his stinky feet in my face for a good sniff.  Is that weird?  He also likes to make sure I clean his stinky feet during tubby time.  He lifts up one foot and then the other for me to scrub. It is very cute, I think I gave him a little bit of a complex.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

18.5 Month Photos

My usual photographer was very busy this October. She was getting married and then was booked every weekend after her wedding. So I took Sophie's advice and brought Cyrus to Portrait Innovations.  I did not take her advice about leaving my wallet at home, or bringing Ryan in with me to talk me out of buying a big package of unnecessary pictures.  I did fall in love with a bunch of the photos, and since I have been working on photo albums for the grandparents, portraits seemed like a great splurge to put a final touch on the albums. 
Here are a few of my favorite pictures....

I love this picture so much


My big boy!
  
Touch Down Dance


Follow Through

I'm number 1
This would be even cuter if I could figure out how to make it post correctly into the blog 

The most wonderful thing about portraits is that I got all my Christmas shopping done in one stop.  I mean doesn't everyone in my family want pictures of Cyrus for Christmas, ha ha ha just kidding...

Monies

Reading the word "monies" does not do it justice.  Hearing Cyrus squeal "monies" and run to his piggy back is way better!  These days we let Cyrus keep any loose change he might find in our bedroom, or if he spots it on the counter, or if he witnessed the cashier at Kroger give it to us.  He joyfully exclaims "MONIES" and promptly marches up to his bedroom. And points to his piggy bank (thanks Nana)

Cyrus has gotten very good at putting money in his piggy  bank.  And loves to sing along while it sings "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
He get's very excited after he successfully unloads all his monies into his piggy bank.  We are hoping to instill good saving habits into our little man.

Mommy's Office

Last week I spent some much needed time in my home office.  You see my home office is also our library, and our guest room, and uncle Brian is coming to visit for Thanksgiving, so I really needed it to be tiddy.  I also have been wanting to spend a little extra time at home.  No offense to my coffee office, I love Starbucks, but sometimes I get distracted while there, and hey if I am going to be distracted I would prefer it to be by Cyrus.
So while cleaning my office I had several breaks to visit with my little man. He was very good at helping Mama put books in their proper place.
I'm just kidding he was more interested in pulling all the books off the shelf than putting them away.  But regardless we still had fun.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sistas


I have been going through all my digital photos and picking ones to print for an album. I found this one from Cyrus's birthday weekend. I love this picture of Rachel, Amy & I. We always manage to get at least one picture of us every time we are all together.
Today when I saw this picture I couldn't help but smile. I love my sistas. The past few months have been so hard for me and they have consistently been there for me. On the most dark days when I did not want to talk, they made sure to call me. They sat 800 miles away and just listened to me cry...they cried too, and I knew they wanted to be here with me more than anything to hold me and help me through it all. They left me messages to let me know they were thinking of me and holding me in spirit.
This week I have been especially reminded how wonderful it is to have sisters.  They call just to take my mind off worries that can seem over whelming to me, but that I know are pointless. They call and we don't have to talk about anything, we just chat. I feel blessed to have sistas that are not just my sisters, but are also my friends.
So here is to sisters! I love you guys and miss you!
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Meomi

Cyrus has at least two play dates a week with Naomi.  On Mondays Sophie drops Naomi off at our house, so that Ryan can watch the kids while she either does grocery shopping, does laundry, or goes for a run.  On Wednesday Ryan drops Cyrus off and has a few hours to work out or clean the house. 
If you ask Cyrus who is coming over, or who he is going to see he says "MeoMiiiiii" - it is one of the cutest things he says.  Sometimes in the afternoon if I am home from work we call Sophie to see if she and Naomi want to meet us at the park.  Usually they do, and we have a lot of fun watching our little ones play, run, and hold hands & hug...
These two love to give each other hugs
Cyrus is always so serious when he and Naomi are walking

I like to joke that some day these photos will be put to music on a cd for their wedding or engagement party.  I'm sure my family thought that of Tate and I and all our pics from childhood, ha ha ha.  I'll be just as happy if they grow to be best friends with brotherly/sisterly love for each other, like Tatey and I. 
We are blessed to have Sophie and Noami in our lives, love you guys!

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Fear of Dad

People always say that your child understands the words you say, before you realize they understand.  Ryan and I have specifically been challenged in this area when it comes to discipline.  For the past couple of months we have wondered if he really understood what we were saying when we would say various things like "no touch", "hot, dangerous", "do you want a spanking"...I mean why would he keep trying to turn the television on and off if we keep telling him no and disciplining him for it.
Slowly we've noticed signs that Cyrus does in fact understand us.  My favorite is that he will look over his shoulder to see if we are paying attention before he does something he is not supposed to do, he also gets this grin and a look in his eye when I have told him no and he decides to do it anyways.  Sometimes it breaks my heart that he will not listen to me, and then I remember that he is following his human instinct of self-gratification - it is a humbling experience to watch, and I realize now that I need God more than ever.  If it were not for God's love I would be just like Cyrus touching hot stoves, and dancing on top of tables.  We pray every night that Cyrus will be consumed by God's love and that he will learn obedience.  With that being said we understand that he's not just magically going to learn to obey and that we play a very important role in it. 
This weekend Cyrus was blatantly disobeying both of us.  He was climbing on top of the coffee table and standing up.  I repeatedly grabbed him and told him that what he was doing was not safe and that he could get hurt.  I had to spank his thigh several times (spanking through a diaper does not work very well - and he laughs at us).  Can you believe that my child continued to do what he was not supposed to do.  He is so stubborn and strong willed, I see so much of myself in him.  Finally Ryan came over and turned his attention on Cyrus.  It must be something about Ryan's voice b/c the minute Ryan started reprimanding Cyrus, the boy shook his head saying no and walking away (no as in I don't want a spanking b/c daddy was saying "do I need to spank you".  The good thing is that at least Cyrus listens to his Dad.  The bad thing is I need to learn how to have the same affect on my son.  The really good thing is that at least I won't have to be one of those mom's who says "When you're father gets home..." b/c daddy is at home raising our little mischievous young man.  The bad thing is now I have proof that Cyrus understands "You will receive a spanking if you..." which means now I have to be a lot more consistent and diligent in the training of my child.
It is very clear that Cyrus has a tremendous amount of love for his Father and it is nice to see that he also respects him and fears him as much as a 19 month old can.  I remembering have a very healthy fear of my parents growing up, heck I still wouldn't want to disobey my mom...fear is a good thing and i knew how much I was cherished and loved.  I hope that Ryan and I will be successful in the training of our children.  I think it is very difficult to discipline your children but it is absolutely necessary.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

God's Timing for Everything

There are moments when I am sad.  I get so sad it hurts and I swear I feel my heart break a little bit.  Do you know that feeling?  Every time I feel this way, I try to think on what is true and good.  The one thing I know is that God is soverign and He has perfect timing.  When the tears come, and the saddness is deep I try not to think on that which God gave and took away, I try not to think on the memory of what was to be and never was, and I try to remember that God's ways are greater than our own.  But still the thoughts flood my mind, and somehow I get back to thinking I should be, I would be, why me? These do not sound like the words of a woman who trusts her God completely.  So I wrestle with my mind, and push the thoughts aside, but they never really are gone. 
I've been wondering a lot lately how to move on.  As due dates of most of my friends are fastly approaching and I am surrounded by baby showers galore that I can not bring myself to attend, I wonder when will I feel whole again.  When will the tears stop, when can I be alone and still and not have my mind trail back to the event of July 11th,12th, and 13th.  I'm not sure the feeling of loss will ever go away, and I'm not sure that my tears will dry up, but I do know that God is healing me each day. And that these days are better than the days before. I have days where I go most of the day with out even thinking of the sweet child waiting for me in heaven.  But then I come home and see Cyrus, my joy in this life, and I think how much I want another child because the one I have makes my world a better place, and then I hear that entitled voice in my head telling me that I deserve to have that child we lost, that it was mine, and it should be thriving inside me at 5 months, I know these thoughts to be of the enemy.  Satan prowls the earth like a lion waiting to devour the weak.  He knows my weakness, and he knows how to exploit it if I let him. When Paul says "Be Strong of Spirit" I beleive he is referring to moments like this.  I have a choice to listen to the lies of the devil, or I can listen to the truths of my heavenly Father.  I may not understand why he gave us a child for such a short time, I can try and rationlize it all I want, but it won't make a difference.  The truth is it pleased God to give us a child and it pleased him to have that Child return home and I am pretty sure He has received Glory throug it.  Even though the road has been long and sometimes very dark I know that God is working on my heart. He is fashioning me into a better servant, a wiser wife and a loving mother. I am learning to fight spiritually like I have never had to do before, I am learning to trust again, and I am learning that it really doesn't matter how I feel.  My feelings and emotions are not an excuse to sin.  They are not an excuse to hide in the shadows and be cut off from friends.  It is way easier to write this than act on it. But at least God is showing me slowly how to heal.
So why am I writing now on a public blog about something so personal, when I have gone so long with out mentioning it at all? Therapy...I feel if I write how I'm feeling at this moment then I'll be one step closer to feeling better. I also feel like I am betraying my son or daughter in heaven by never mentioning their existence on my blog - I know that sounds a little crazy but I think it all the time. Every time I blog I start to think of Evan (this is the name I chose for the child I lost in July), and I alwasy start to write about how I am feeling, and then I hit delete because no one wants to read about any of this, this is not what my blog is about, my blog is about Cyrus and our family so I move on feeling slightly guilty.  But the truth is this: regardless of where Evan is he exists and he was part of our family for 7 weeks and God blessed us, and we were thankful, and terrified all at the same time.  Someday are family will be in heaven and we will meet our child and I am thankful for that as well.  There you have it.  If you wouldn't mind praying for me, I'd appreciate it. I long for the days when I had joy real joy that was not stored up in earthly things but was based in heaven.  I know God is pulling me out of this valley, He is good and He loves me. His timing is perfect and I'll be patient.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Trick or Treat

My Bear Cub
Halloween has never been my most favorite holiday. But it was a lot more fun when we lived in Milton MA and I would take Issy trick or treating with all her dog park friends.  We'd walk to dog friendly houses and get milk bones.  It was a lot of fun, and Issy, despite the humiliating costumes, quite enjoyed it.

We stopped trick or treating with Issy when we moved to Virginia.  I think people would think I was crazy, plus there are not many sidewalks around here to walk miss Isabelle.  This year Ryan and I were both looking forward to halloween and taking Cyrus trick or treating.  Last year he dressed up but just sat in one spot and seemed sort of annoyed.  So this year was our first real Halloween experience as parents.
Starting with treats early, thanks for the Brownie Daddy

Cyrus dressed up as a bear and went over to Meemaw Debbies to trick or treat.  Cyrus only went to three houses, and then he decided that giving candy out was way more fun.  Over all Cyrus did very well, even though he would not wear his bear mask.
Returning to Meemaw Debbie's after trick or treating
Stealing the candy bowl
Being a bear with Uncle Keegan
Running around like a big kid
Uncle Keegan wrestling on the bear mask
Cyrus in the process of winning the wrestling match
Uncle Keegan Defeated!
Triumphant walk off
 I know Ryan is missing from these pictures.  He was very busy watching the Patriots on Debbie's big screen TV. I asked him if he would regret missing Cyrus's first trick or treat experience and he thought he wouldn't b/c Cyrus doesn't really understand the whole thing yet, and he'll be a lot more fun next year. So I left it at that.
I can honestly say that I am really looking forward to next year!
Oh yeah after Cyrus received candy he would sign "thank you" my boy has good manners.